[Intro:]
A lot of people ask me where the fuck I've been at the last few years?! Shit, I don't know but I do know I'm back now!
[Chorus:]
Here comes the rain and thunder now,
Nowhere to run, to run to now,
I disappeared, don't wonder how,
Lookin' for me? I'm underground.
[Verse 1:]
Dre, I'm down here, under the ground, dig me up,
Broken tibias, fibulas, yeah, fix me up,
60 sluts, all of them dyin' from asphyxia
After they sip piss through a Christopher Reeves sippy cup,
Dixie cups, toxins, boxes of Oxy pads,
Enough Oxycontin to send a fuckin' ox to rehab.
Wack job in the back in a black stocking cap,
Jackin' off to a hockey mask at a boxing match.
He can't say that! Yes, he can, I just did, faggot,
Now guess again, better text message your next-of-kin,
Tell 'em shit's about to get extra messy, especially when I flex again
And throw a fuckin' lesbian in wet cement.
Faggoty, faggoty, faggoty, Raggedy Ann and Andy.
No! Raggedy Andy and Andy; no, it can't be, it can't be!
Yes, it can be, the fuckin' Anti-Christ is back, Dante,
It's Satan in black satin panties,
This is Amityville calamity, goddamn it!
Insanity pills, fanny pack filled with Xannies,
Through every nook and cranny lookin' for trannies,
Milk and cookies spilled on my silk negligee, looky!
Razor-ba-lades with me to make you ba-leed,
Cases of Maybelline makeup lay on a table of weed.
“Slim Shady? Shit sounds like a fable to me!”
'Til he jumps out of the fuckin' toilet when you're takin' a pee!
[Chorus:]
Here comes the rain and thunder now,
Nowhere to run, to run to now,
I disappeared, don't wonder how,
Lookin' for me? I'm underground.
[Verse 2:]
6 semen samples, 17 strands of hair
Found in the back of a van after the shoot with Vanity Fair,
Hannah Montana, prepare to elope with a can-opener
And be cut open like cantaloupe and canopy beds,
And Glad bags. Yeah, glad to be back
‘Cause last year was a tragedy that landed me smack-dab in rehab,
Fuckin' doctor, I didn't understand a damn word he said,
I planned to relapse the second I walked out of that bitch.
Two weeks in Brighton, I ain't enlightened,
Biting into a fuckin' Vicodin like I'm a Viking,
Oh, lightning is strikin', it might be a fuckin' sign, I need a psychic
Evaluation. Fuck Jason, it's Friday the 19th!
That means it's just a regular day,
And this is the kind of shit I think of regularly,
Fuckin' lesbian shouldn't have had her legs in the way,
Now she's pregnant and gay, missin' both legs and beggin' to stay.
[Chorus:]
Here comes the rain and thunder now,
Nowhere to run, to run to now,
I disappeared, don't wonder how,
Lookin' for me? I'm underground.
[Verse 3:]
Tell the critics I'm back and comin' to spit it back in abundance,
Hit a fag with onions, then split a bag of Funyuns.
Mad at me? Understandable; cannibal, shoot an animal
Out of a cannon and have 'em catapult at an adult,
Captain of a cult with an elite following.
To turn Halloween back into a trick-or-treat holiday,
Have Michael Myers lookin' like a liar, swipe his power,
Replace his knife with flowers and a stack of fliers;
Hit Jason Vorhees with a 40,
Stuck a suppository up his ass and made him tell me a story;
Gave Hannibal Lector a fuckin' nectarine and sat him
In the fuckin' fruit and vegetable section and gave him a lecture,
Walked up Elm street with a fuckin' wiffle bat drew;
Fought Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands, too,
Came out with a little scratch, ooh,
Lookin' like I got in a fuckin' pillow fight with a triple-fat goose.
Insanity, can it be vanity? Where is the humanity
In havin' a twisted fantasy with an arm-and-leg amputee?
Straitjacket with a hundred eight brackets
With a strap that wraps twice around my back then they latch it,
Cut your fuckin' head off and ask you where you're headed off to.
Get it? Headed off to? Medic, this headache's awful,
This anesthetic's pathetic, so's this diabetic waffle,
And this prosthetic arm keeps crushing my hard taco.
[Chorus:]
Here comes the rain and thunder now,
Nowhere to run, to run to now,
I disappeared, don't wonder how,
Lookin' for me? I'm underground.
[Outro:]
— So, it wasn't a choice, it was I had to do this, and now I'm 90 days clean and uh, that's all I have to share. Thanks.
— Thanks for sharing Brian, is there anyone else who would like to share this evening?
— Yeah, I got something I want to share.
When you walked through the door you were queer to me,
So come here, baby boy, just come here to me,
You're a cock boy, everybody wants you,
You're gayer than you would ever claim to,
I won't have to rape you.
So, homie, lay down, down, down, lay down, down, down,
Lay down, down, down, lay down, lay down.
— Where's everybody goin'? This always went over real big in gay a... Okay, wait, I got another one.
I just love condoms and lots of cum...
— No? Oh, shit!
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