Lil' Wayne - Dr. Carter

[Skit:]
– Where's my coffee?
– Good morning, Dr. Carter.
– Hey sweetie!
– Looks like it's gonna be a long day.
– Uh, another one, huh? What we got?
– Your first patient.
– Yeah.
– Is suffering from a lack of concepts.
– Uh-huh.
– Originality.
– Ugh.
– His flow is weak.
– Another one.
– And he has no style.
– Ughh.
– What you got for him?

[Verse 1:]
Ts-s-s, okay, let me put my gloves on and my scrubs on,
Dr. Carter to the rescue.
Excuse me if I'm late, but like a thief it takes
Time to be this great, uh, so just wait.
Your style is a disgrace, your rhymes are fifth-place,
And I'm just grace one uno ace,
And I'm tryin' make your heart beat like bass,
H-mm-mm, but you're sweet like cake,
And I come to fix whatever you shall break.
Where is your originality? You are so fake,
So picture me like a gallery, capture what I say,
All I need is one mic, all I need is one take,
Like “hey!”, brighter than the sun ray;
Got a pistol on a playground, watch the gunplay,
Like no kiddin', no kids in the way,
But the kids do watch, gotta watch what we say,
Gotta work everyday, gotta not be clichéd,
Gotta stand out like André 3K,
Gotta kick it, kick it like a sensei,
You gotta have faith, you gottta, gotta...
Wait, wait, I think, I, I think, I lost him.

[Skit:]
– Good afternoon, Dr. Carter. I don't know about this one: his confidence is down, vocab and metaphors needs work, and he lack respect for the game.
– Uh, let me see.
– You think you can save him?

[Verse 2:]
Okay, respect is in the heart so that's where Imma start,
And a lot of heart patients don't make it, but, hey, kid, plural, I graduated,
‘Cause you can get through anythin' if Magic made it,
And that was called recyclin': recitin' somethin',
‘Cause you just like it, so you say it just like it.
Some say, it's bitin' but I say, it's enlightenin',
Besides, Dr. Kanye West is one of the brightest,
And Dr. Swizz can stitch your track up the tightest,
And Dr. Jeezy can fix you back up the nicest.
Arthritis in my hand from writin',
But I'm a doctor, they don't understand my writin',
So I stopped writin', now I'm like lightnin',
And you ain't Vince Young, so don't clash with the Titan.
Fast and excitin', my passion is frightenin',
Now let me put some more vocab in your I.V.,
Here take this Vicodin, like it and love it,
And confidence has no budget so pay me no mind.
I don't walk it like I talk it ‘cause I run it,
I don't do it ‘cause I done it,
And I'm in the emergency on it...
God dammit, I've lost another one.

[Skit:]
– Good evening, Dr. Carter. It's been a long day, but this one looks much better than the others. His respect is back up, concepts sound good, his style is showing strong signs of improvement, all he needs now is his swagger.
– Okay, let me take my gloves off then...

[Verse 3:]
Swagger tighter than a yeast infection,
Fly go hard like geese erection,
Fashion patrol, police detection,
I stay tight like “Chinese Connection”,
I stay tight like pussy at night,
Baby, don't get me wrong, I can do that pussy right,
But I'm too wrong to write, too fresh to fight,
Too paid to freestyle, too paid to freestyle,
Had to say it twice swagger so nice,
And don't ask me shit unless it concern a price.
And I don't rap fast, I rap slow,
‘Cause I mean every letter in the words in the sentence of my quotes,
Swagger just flows sweeter than honey oats,
That swagger I got it, I wear it like a coat.
Wait, as I put the light down his throat,
I can only see flow his blood startin' to flow,
His lungs startin' to grow, this one's startin' to show strong signs of life.
Where's the stitches, here's the knife!
Smack his face, his eyes open, I reply, “What a night!”
Welcome back, hip hop, I saved your life.

[Skit:]
– He looks good, his vitals are up. He's looking good, he's looking good. I think we got one, Dr. Carter, I think we got one. Yep, yep, we got one, we saved him, he's good. He's good, we got one, he's good. He's good, we got him. We saved him, he's good, he's good.